he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize