so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
