Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I heard we made out
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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