I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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