Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize