Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
