Don't you send me to vm
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
