Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He did a backflip because drugs
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
