ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
