Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
