i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
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She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
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I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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