I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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