do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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