Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
