At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
