Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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