i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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