ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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