You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
