The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
