did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
