This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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