I got chris browned last night
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
