an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
