Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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