i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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