gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize