My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
