I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
