dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize