I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
