So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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