Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
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I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
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I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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