Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
