Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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