i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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