Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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