guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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