well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
