On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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