I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
