new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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