Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
