OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
