I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
All I want is dick and wine.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
