I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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