Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
