my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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