The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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