The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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