the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
