You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
