Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
