We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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