Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize