I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
