Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
