He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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