sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
