I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
being pregnant is like rehab
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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