cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
