yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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