Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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