i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Mom said you looked used
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
