Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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