Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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