Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
