Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
