Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
