you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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