Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize